But what does he do best? Blasting an oversized gun, spouting cheesy one-liners and throwing the bad guys around... of course.
The Last Stand sees Schwarzenegger as Ray Owens who was a once big time Sheriff, who now resides in a small Southern American town right on the Mexican border. There he has a small team of mexican Mike Figuerola (Luis Guzmán), tough but cute Sarah Torrence (Jaimie Alexander) and rookie policeman Jerry Bailey (Zach Gilford). They think they are in for a quiet weekend, as the whole of the town is off to watch a football game. However, what they don't realise is that further up North is LA, a notorious Mexican Drug Lord, Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) makes an escape from his FBI prison transfer and Agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker). As Cortez hot foots it down south towards the Mexican border, in a specially modified car at 200mph with FBI agent Agent Ellen Richards (Genesis Rodriguez) held hostage, it's up to Arnie and his band of misfits to try and stop him making it over the border.
OK, so this was supposed to be Arnie's big comeback, since his last major outing in 2003's Terminator 3 (not counting his cameo in The Expendables or The Expendables 2). It's what Arnie fans have been waiting for - a move back to his big gun toting cheesy one-liner self. Does The Last Stand deliver on this front? Well, yes it does. While the film does have a big long build up to the final battle, when it finally is delivered, it is a rip roaring good time. Guns blazing everywhere, limbs and body parts being apart (with a better use of CGI blood than The Expendables) and some well timed and much needed humour (look out for how Johnny Knoxville dispatches of a goon covered ammunition with only a flare gun). It's a glorious throwback to some of Arnie's earlier action cinema outings, where it would be relentless wall-to-wall blood, guts and guns... it's just a shame that it takes nearly the whole of the film's running time to get to this moment.
So what is the rest of the film filled with? Well, to be fair we are introduced to the cardboard cut-out Sheriff's department with equally simple backstories. Mike is simply the bumbling Mexican who is there for laughs, Sarah is torn between her love for the job and her ex-boyfriend that she has locked up in the jail cell and Jerry is the typical rookie who is looking towards the bright lights of LA for more action in his work. However, not all characters are treated to backstories. Strangely, I felt that Arnie's character was a little underdeveloped - it wasn't until I looked at IMDB, which said that his character left his LAPD post after a failed operation that injured his work partner, that I realised I must have blinked and missed this revelation. Also, the make antagonist, Gabriel is rather underdeveloped too. Sometimes a mysterious villain can work, but they need to be imposing and frightening enough to carry off the role. Unfortunately, Noriega isn't really given anything to work with or doesn't bring enough himself to make for a convincingly sinister villain.
I suppose the character flaws can be brought down to the writer credits, which The Last Stand has four. I've said it before, and I'll certainly say it again, the saying "Too many cooks spoils the broth" is definitely true when writing films. I don't think I've ever seen a brilliant film which has more than two people who have writing credits on the script, because any more and it seems to become a battle to include what's cool rather than what's good. Having said that, a weak script was partially covered up by the direction from Jee-woon Kim (I Saw The Devil, A Tale of Two Sisters) who brings a bland, but competent filming style to The Last Stand. We have sweeping shots of the southern American countryside and some cool crash zooms (reminiscent of old Western films - especially in the showdown at the end of the film) but we also have some awkwardly long shots of the super car travelling (supposedly) at 200mph down the highway, but the shot is so wide and awkward that it looks more like it's travelling at 60mph (with a helicopter managing to keep up behind it at the same speed).
I guess it looks like I'm bashing The Last Stand and I'm really not. It's a good time and definitely a film that will fill up some people's 'guilty pleasures' list, because it's a film that harks back to some of Arnie's earlier films (but this time with an ageing action hero at the helm). It's got guns, explosions and fast cars, so it's got the making of a good lads night in (when it hits DVD, obviously). The only thing that holds the film back from being better, is that it's just that... a film that is quite forgettable once you have laughed at all the jokes and funny moments and gawped at the gunfights and explosions. It follows all it's story beats precisely to the point where you can guess what's going to happen next and what will happen to the characters. It even ends on a friggin' freeze-frame - 80s nostalgia right there!!
So, if you're looking for a good time where you can firmly switch your brain off, then The Last Stand definitely is a good film to go and see. Just don't expect to see the next best Arnie actioner and you will be pleasantly surprised. Expect anything more than an average action flick, then you will be disappointed.
*** / *****
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